British bloke

"MY NAME IS NOT BORT YOU C****"

- Bloke while stuck in a Lidl

Overall
British bloke is just some british bloke who lived in Mayfair. He overuses slang and is quite foul-mouthed. He doesn't have a name so people call him bloke. Some people call him Bort, however they die pretty fast, since the bloke has a ton of licenced guns. Sometimes drunk idiots think he is a woman because of his long hair and again they get mowed down. His car is a Toyota Corolla.

History
In 1981 he was born and before his parents could give him a name, they died of a heart attack. He spent 10 years in an orphanage until he snuck out for good. He lived in the alleyways until he inherited his parent's old house where he lived. When he was 18 years old he started working in GAME in a crazed mall. In 2002 on St. Patrick's Day he was fired because of Brexit (I KNOW THAT BREXIT WASN'T A THING BACK THEN SHUT UP). His house didn't survive, because a bus driver that was incredibly drunk ran it over, breaking bloke's finger and causing the roof to break down, cracking bloke's skull, however he survived this because of plot armor. At the 21th of March he rebelled against the [GERMAN SOLDIERS] to prevent them from ruling England and he suffered PTSD. At the 27th of March he had to move out of London, because the city was bombarded with cluster bombs. He moved to Sheffield. At the end of April he got new jobs as a nuclear silo worker and a TESCO supplier. He stated that even if London is going to get rebuilt, he wont move back in, because he says that "London is a cursed place".

Other crap
In 2001 he gets attacked by a murderer, but he shoots him faster than the murderer can stab him. He then gets interviewed by B4W NEWS on a mountain where it took place. However the interview gets cut short when a speeding idiot hits bloke with a car propelling him in the air.

Conclusion
This bloke has seen some ****.